


i’m glad you didn’t

by gpb22



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Coming Out, Crying, Crying in the bathroom, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mentioned Iwaizumi Hajime, Multi, Sad, Shiratorizawa, Threats, attempted comfort, coach is a piece of shit, idk why i made this sad but it’s sad, im sorry ushijima :((, oikawa gets slightly humbled, oikawa is kind of annoying, sad ushijima, ushijima needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gpb22/pseuds/gpb22
Summary: the day oikawa walked in on ushijima having a mental breakdown after losing to karasuno, he knew that he wasn’t the emotionless robot everyone thought he was.NON-CON DOES NOT OCCUR BETWEEN ANY PAIRINGS MENTIONED!!
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru (implied), Oikawa Tooru & Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	i’m glad you didn’t

**Author's Note:**

> TW// mentioned / implied rape and non-con
> 
> it does not go into detail at all, but it is the main plot point. DOES NOT OCCUR BETWEEN ANY PAIRINGS MENTIONED!!
> 
> my first fic on ao3 :)) sorry it’s so sad i didn’t mean to... jk i totally did but really this is basically me just not liking the shiratorizawa coach. when i watched the show he gave me really bad vibes, and i felt like there had to be something going on secretly at that school- he was way too obsessed with ushijima. 
> 
> so pls enjoy, comments are super appreciated :))

when oikawa strolls into the bathroom that no one knows exists in the stadium, he is not prepared for what is about to transpire. there, sitting as small as possible in the corner of the bathroom, is the one and only ushijima wakatoshi. when he looks up and locks eyes with oikawa, the tears running down his face are impossible to ignore, and the labored breaths are so heavy that oikawa is worried he’s having trouble breathing.

“i’m glad you didn’t come to shiratorizawa...” is the first thing he mutters in between sobs. oikawa is notably confused; didn’t he always say that he should have went? what’s going on?

“ushijima, what the fuck happened?” oikawa closes and locks the main door.

“nothing...”

“dude, i just walked in on you sobbing in the corner, obviously something happened.” he grabs a wad of toilet paper from one of the stalls and chucks it at the crying man. 

“i can’t say...”

“hey, i’m the only one here, and to be honest, no matter what it is i have no reason to say anything. shit, i don’t even want to be here right now so you better not be wasting my time.”

ushijima doesn’t reply, instead he closes his eyes as his hands continue to shake. 

“are you upset about the loss? cause i’ll tell you what ushiwaka, you deserved it. i was tired of watching you always win anyways,” he says with a hearty laugh, but quickly stops when it doesn’t arise a reaction out of him.  
He shakes his head in denial.

“really, don’t lie to me, i know how it feels. i can’t believe i’m telling you this but i cried after we lost too. hajime had to keep me from killing someone to be honest.”

“...it’s not that”. ushijima’s baritone voice is shaky, and he hasn’t seemed to calm down much since oikawa arrived.

“dude, should i go get someone? cause obviously i’m not helping. tendou? your little setter? your coach?” ushijima visually flinches at that, and oikawa is now extremely confused.

“so something to do with your coach?” a very quiet sob escapes the man on the floor, and oikawa is instantly ten times more on guard than he was before.

“...what happened? did he blame the loss on you or something cause i mean yea, it was partially your fault but come on, it’s not that big of a deal. he’s just an old bast-“ 

“can we stop talking about him?” oiwaka has never heard ushijima speak so quietly and unsure. his normally commanding voice is timid and frail, which only makes oikawa even more alarmed.

“no, we can’t stop. dude, what the fuck is going on? you have to tell me cause now i’m actually kind of worried.” oikawa sits directly next to ushijima on the ground and the taller man shrinks in on himself.

“no you’re not... you already said that you don’t care.” he has stopped crying, but his voice is still so quiet that oikawa can barely hear him.

“okay, true, but that was before i thought something was actually happening. so what, did he just put a lot of pressure on you? blame you for the loss? you’ve gotta give me some kind of hint here, ushiwaka.” a few silent moments pass. oikawa is close to just giving up when he hears a soft sigh next to him.

“he said... if we didn’t win this year...” his voice cracks halfway through his sentence and oikawa waits as patiently as he can. he tries not to say anything snarky back, and has to bite his tongue in order to not do so.

“then he would... uhm...” ushijima wipes a tear rolling down his face, “tell everyone about me,” he finishes in a whisper.

“what about you? that you’re a robot on and off the court or...” a humorless laugh emerges from ushijima.

“that i’m gay, oikawa.” 

oh.

“uhhhh, me too? join the club. why is that such a big deal?” more than half of the people he knows in the volleyball scene are into dudes in way or another, but ushijima is acting like it’s the worst thing in the world. 

“you don’t understand, oikawa... he... uhm...” the silence that follows is deafening. there is nothing between the two of them other than maybe a foot of space, but it feels like miles. oikawa just sits and waits for ushijima to spit it out. another tear slides down ushijima’s reddening face, and he uses one of the pieces of toilet paper to try and dry it before it drips to the ground, but he isn’t fast enough. oikawa thinks he can hear the tear drop hit the floor in the dead silence. ushijima then continues in the lowest whisper,

“he made me do things.”

oikawa’s heart instantly drops into his stomach and he immediately thinks he’s gonna be sick. his stomach churns and he pales.

“h-how, uhm, w-what do you mean?” he stutters out unintelligently. he trips over his words in an effort to hear more. a few more deadly silent seconds pass. what the actual fuck is going on?

“how do you think we got sponsors.” either ushijima’s voice is getting quieter, or oikawa’s blood rushes to his ears so fast that he can’t even hear correctly.

“y-your coach m-made you...?” oikawa can’t even get the words out. this doesn’t even make any sense to him. how could this be happening?

“...yea. and he has uhm... video proof...” ushijima sounds utterly broken. oikawa doesn’t even know what to say, what to do. this went from bad to worse within seconds and he doesn’t even know how to respond. 

ushijima is a grown man. how could he let this happen? maybe for the sake of his team? for the sake of his own pride and secrets? but oikawa is failing to understand how. how could a school get away with this? how long has this been happening? is it only ushijima or is it many of his teammates? the only thing oikawa can do is think about “what if i was in this position?” the obvious answer would be to tell hajime, who would undoubtedly kick someone’s ass until it stopped happening, but did ushijima have someone to do that for him? ushijima is supposed to be that person, the one that protects his younger players. the one that everyone looks up to. so who does he turn to when he needs help? no one? is this what happens when everyone assumes you are just a volleyball robot with no emotions? oikawa has never even seen ushijima angry, nevertheless sad and breaking down. what can he even do in this situation? isn’t it already out of his reach?

they sit there in silence for a moment, until oikawa finally decides to at least do something.

he turns and faces the taller man, and opens his arms. ushijima looks at him blankly for a second, before the tears reappear in his eyes and he launches himself into oikawa’s embrace. the large man is sobbing into oikawa’s chest, but he can’t even manage to make a joke about this scenario. it is so much more serious than he ever expected. he doesn’t offer the obligatory “you’re okay” or “everything will be alright” because he knows he’d be lying. everything isn’t alright. he doesn’t even know where to begin or what to do. 

ushijima wakatoshi is a nationally ranked volleyball player. it is a no brainer that he is so incredibly talented at what he does, and he is on track to make a professional career out of it. but now he has this secret... the kind that will halt his all of his future plans when revealed. and there appears to be nothing that oikawa can do to help other than sit here and harbor this secret with him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! poor ushijima :(( all he needs is help and no one can give it :(


End file.
